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Welcome! Please don't look behind any curtains you may see, peek under tarps, or stick your head or limbs into any open doorways marked 'Keep Out!' as decapitation may result and the cleaning people don't come back until next week.
We're still getting things unpacked, finding our socks, locating the cat etcetera...but feel free to pour yourself a cup of e-coffee and take a seat. Someone will be along shortly.
Yes, you in the back?
No, I'm sorry; the restroom is for employees only. There's a gas station across the street and down about 15 miles, if that helps.
Any other questions?
Ah! Of course.
Please compose your message in haiku or limerick form. The monkeys that sort the email can't read prose. Silly monkeys.
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